F.A.Q.

I have some of the best readers in the Blogosphere. They’re funny, and they don’t hesitate to ask questions or offer feedback. In fact, they’re one of my favorite parts of having a blog. Unfortunately, I rarely have time to answer their questions, so I thought it only fair to devote an entire post to addressing their queries. I picked a few of the best questions, and here are my answers:

Q: Where did you come up with the name Female at Large?
A: It’s what the police called me when they issued that all points bulletin.

Q: Why don’t you use your real identity? Are you a spy?
A: I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.

Q: If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be?
A: A weeping willow.

Q: Did you always want to be a journalist?
A: No, actually. When I was very young, I wanted to join the circus, but they informed me that they no longer make use of circus freaks.

Q: If you won $1 million, what would you do?
A: Buy my own private island, where I could carry out my secret, diabolical experiments without interference.

Q: If you could be doing anything you wanted right now, what would it be?
A: Swimming in a sea of chocolate, with a glazed donut as a life preserver and a chocolate eclair as a life raft and...wait...what was the question again?

Q: Did you have a nickname when you were a kid?
A: Little Miss Encyclopedia. (That was before I lost all those brain cells and got stupid.)

Q: What’s your guilty pleasure?
A: You mean I can only have one?!

Q: OK, so what’s one of your guilty pleasures?
A: The Simpsons. (It may look like a simple little cartoon, but it’s brilliant social commentary as far as I’m concerned.)

Q: What’s your greatest accomplishment?
A: I’ve been chocolate-free for one whole week!