Spring Fever

It's spring and I have the Fever -- you know, that nagging, insatiable urge compelling you to turn your life upside down and do a little wandering. I've always had crazy ideas, but never the stones to act on them. But this fever has imbued me with a boldness I've never known before. Suddenly, my craziest ideas seem like the sanest ones I've ever had. Here's my to-do list for spring:

1. Sell all my possessions and travel the country on my bicycle.

2. Buy a bicycle.

3. Dye my hair purple.

4. Join the circus.

5. Become a cruise ship performer.

6. Become a Buddhist nun.

7. Tattoo my entire body.

8. Pretend to have amnesia, move to another town, and adopt a new identity.

9. Become a mascot for an NBA team.

10. Host my own TV talk show.