Monday, December 27, 2004

Crazy Family? No problem!

You’re surrounded. Everywhere you look, you see these menacing strangers. They look like you, some of them even talk like you, but you feel strangely out of place in their company. Most of them are exhibiting various types of odd behavior. Are you having a bad dream? Are you trapped in an insane asylum? Worse--you’re at a family get-together.
It’s no fun having a crazy family. It’s embarrassing, and at times downright dangerous. But as I have learned, there are definite perks as well. So if spending the holidays with the relatives has got you down, try looking at the brighter side of having a certifiably insane family:
1. Life is never dull.
With a crazy family, life is one non-stop adventure. Cousin Jimmy sets the couch on fire, Uncle Rick gets arrested for disturbing the peace, Aunt Rhonda channels the spirit of Elvis Presley... It’s almost too much excitement!
2. They make you look good.
Think about it--people won’t expect much from you, because, hey, look where you came from! So no matter what insane and inept things you do in your life, you’ll look like a near-genius compared to your relatives.
3. They broaden your horizons.
Your crazy family can expose you to all kinds of new and educational experiences you’d never know about without their influence. Who else can teach you how to hotwire a car or contact the Other Side?
4. You get the sympathy vote.
People are nice to you because, poor thing, you’ve been through so much already. They give you things, let you take cuts in line...there are a wealth of opportunities here if you just know how to take advantage of them.
5. Hey, the only way to go is up!
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