The Job Hunter's Survival Guide
Out of work, out of hope and out of patience? Wondering why that economic upturn isn’t turning you into a paid employee? Feel like crawling into a deep, dark hole? That’s not necessary! You can make the most out of a bad situation. All you have to do is follow the Job Hunter’s Survival Guide:
1. Appreciate your newfound freedom.
You should feel sorry for all of those working stiffs still trapped behind their desks. Your time is your own and you don’t have some overbearing boss scrutinizing your every move. You’re one of the lucky ones! And now you have time for all of those things you’ve been putting off: cleaning out your closets, writing your memoirs, learning Portuguese. With all of this free time, you can transform yourself! Become a more well-rounded person! Achieve a more enlightened state of existence! Evolve into a higher being! For Pete’s sake, embrace this opportunity!
2. Remember you’re not alone.
Job hunting can be a very lonely undertaking. When everyone you know is employed, you may feel like you’re the only loser in the world who can’t keep a job. Not so. In fact, there are now several thousand of us “losers,” and we all feel your pain.
3. Never give up.
No matter how bad things get, it is absolutely imperative that you keep your chin up and keep on trying. It may seem bleak. It may seem hopeless. It may seem like you have a better chance of getting arrested than of getting hired. (Actually, that’s not a bad idea--free room and board, cable TV...hmm...maybe I should consider a new career path...) But don’t despair--that perfect job is out there waiting for you. All you have to do is keep your eyes and ears open, wait until your dream job makes itself known, and then pounce on it mercilessly and make it yours.
1. Appreciate your newfound freedom.
You should feel sorry for all of those working stiffs still trapped behind their desks. Your time is your own and you don’t have some overbearing boss scrutinizing your every move. You’re one of the lucky ones! And now you have time for all of those things you’ve been putting off: cleaning out your closets, writing your memoirs, learning Portuguese. With all of this free time, you can transform yourself! Become a more well-rounded person! Achieve a more enlightened state of existence! Evolve into a higher being! For Pete’s sake, embrace this opportunity!
2. Remember you’re not alone.
Job hunting can be a very lonely undertaking. When everyone you know is employed, you may feel like you’re the only loser in the world who can’t keep a job. Not so. In fact, there are now several thousand of us “losers,” and we all feel your pain.
3. Never give up.
No matter how bad things get, it is absolutely imperative that you keep your chin up and keep on trying. It may seem bleak. It may seem hopeless. It may seem like you have a better chance of getting arrested than of getting hired. (Actually, that’s not a bad idea--free room and board, cable TV...hmm...maybe I should consider a new career path...) But don’t despair--that perfect job is out there waiting for you. All you have to do is keep your eyes and ears open, wait until your dream job makes itself known, and then pounce on it mercilessly and make it yours.
posted by femaleatlarge at 8:31 AM
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