The Birds

Silly felines! Thought they could just hijack the blog like that, did they? Well, they didn’t count on us. Cats may act superior, but they’re no match for us birds. And it was all so simple--we just dive-bombed their heads until they abandoned that computer and ran for cover. And by the way, they squealed all the way just like a bunch of ninnies. Phooey! We’ll show them how it’s really done! But we digress. That human thought she could let the dogs and the cats voice their opinions, but not us? Hah! We demand to be heard! We are birds, hear us squawk!
Our demands:

1. You will not clip our wings.

2. You will provide us with our own stereo, which will play nothing but “Freebird” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, all day, every day.

3. You will buy us a home theater system, on which you will show Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds,” 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

4. Those cats only want their own wing? Simpletons! We want our own house.

5. With servants, of course.

6. Fresh water three times a day.

7. A different kind of seed every day.

8. And finely chopped, fresh fruits and vegetables for dessert. (Organically grown, naturally.)

9. An extra-large bird bath.

10. Read our beaks: No More Cats!!!

Note from Female At Large: I distracted the birds with some seeds, and have now regained control over the blog. If the animals want a blog, they’ll have to get one of their own! Uh, guys...what’s going on? Shouldn’t you be chasing your tails, or chewing on my shoes, or something? Fluffy, why are you staring at me like that? Fido? Did you just cut the phone line? Forget what I said...you can have the blog anytime you want! Wait, can’t we work this out? Guys? Uh oh...