A Day in the Life of a Freelance Journalist

9 a.m.: Jump out of bed, eager to greet the workday. Race to the answering machine to check messages. Don’t want to keep those editors waiting!
9:05 a.m.: Why isn’t the little red light blinking? Oh well, most editors prefer e-mail anyway. Better check there.
9:10 a.m.: Hmmm...no e-mail. Not to worry--it’s early yet. Things will pick up later in the day. Now I can work on some of those other projects I haven’t had time for.
9:30 a.m.: cantthinkcantthinkcantthinkcantthinkcantthink...
10 a.m.: Words, words, where are you? Why hast thou forsaken me?
10:05 a.m.: Maybe I just need a distraction, something to get my creative juices flowing. Oooh, look! Jerry Springer’s on!
10:55 a.m.: Scared now. No more TV for me. Ever.
11 a.m.: Well, maybe one little “X-Files” rerun won’t hurt.
Noon: Time for lunch! Ramen noodles, anyone?
1 p.m.: Back to work. Still no messages. Must be a slow news day. Wait--why am I waiting for them to come to me? I should be more proactive. Better start working those phones!
1:05 p.m.: “He’s in a meeting? No, I don’t mind leaving a message...She’s at lunch. That’s OK, I’ll just leave a message...When will he be back? OK--I’ll just leave a voicemail...”
2 p.m.: Where is everyone?
2:15 p.m.: Maybe I should finally straighten up my desk.
2:30 p.m. Or maybe not. Really scared now. That was worse than Jerry Springer!
2:45 p.m.: 99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer, take one down and pass it around...
3 p.m.: The phone! Maybe it’s that source getting back to me! Or that editor from that big-time news magazine! “Hello...no, there’s no Julio here. You must have the wrong number.”
3:05 p.m.: 68 bottles of beer on the wall, 68 bottles of beer...
3:30 p.m.: So what if it’s a slow news day? I can use this time to brush up on my writing skills. Re-read the AP Stylebook or peruse the dictionary for a while.
3:45 p.m.: Ow! My head hurts! Need chocolate.
4 p.m.: Was that the phone? Nope, just my neighbor’s phone. What are these walls made of, paper?
4:15 p.m.: Maybe I should take another look at some of those unfinished projects.
4:30 p.m.: stillcantthinkstillcantthinkstillcanthinkstillcantthink...
4:45 p.m.: Why won’t that blasted phone ring?
4:50 p.m.: The phone again! Maybe this is finally it! “No, I don’t have time to take a short survey! Can’t you see I’m working here?”
5 p.m.: Quittin’ time! Whew! What a long day! Now I can finally put my feet up and relax!