Oh, hell...

12:03 a.m. -- note to self: Don’t work on articles about haunted places in America when you’re home all alone on a dark, cold, windy night.
Shhh...did you hear that? I heard something. Hello? Hello? Is anyone there? Darn me! Why did I pick the dead of night to work on an article about ghosts? I’m obviously way too suggestible. There’s nothing there. It’s just my overactive imagination getting the better of me. I’ll just put it out of my mind and get back to work. Ghosts? Hah! Stuff and nonsense!
Where was I? Oh yeah -- so legend has it this young woman murdered her former lover and now she haunts the cemetery looking for...wait...what was that? I heard something again. Hello? This isn’t funny, whoever or whatever you are! I heard something, I know I heard something. Oh...um...never mind. It’s just the cat. Silly me!
Anyway, back to the article -- so she haunts the cemetery looking for...what the...? I felt something. I know I felt something! A light breeze against my neck, as if someone were...behind me...breathing...ever so softly...
For the love of...don’t scare me like that, you crazy dog! What are you trying to do, Fido, give me a heart attack? What’s wrong? What are you barking at? And what’s wrong with you, Fluffy? Why are you hissing? I don’t see anyone there. Oh, this is ridiculous. I’m not going to get any work done, I should just go to bed. Maybe I’ll have better luck in the light of day.
Ah, yes. This is the life. A dog curled up on my feet, a cat purring softly beside me. It doesn’t get any better than this. Fido? Why are you growling? Fluffy? Come back here! Ooh, it’s so cold in here all of a sudden. Who’s there? I felt that! A cold breeze wafting over my bed! I’m not imagining things! What’s that strange light? Oh, hell...